I used to think I knew what pain was, I really did. I mean I broke my tibia plateau and could not put weight on it for six months at over 300 lbs. It was excruciating. Trying to get to the bathroom with a knee immobilizer on it from my ankle to my hip bone because I am so short was torture. But I survived. Trying to move with a herniated disc leaking on your spinal cord is a different story.
Fast forward for years and my husband is helping me walk around my apartment at 4 a.m. As he does, I scream in pain. Screaming so loud that we are afraid that I am waking the neighbors. As he gets me set up for the day, he brings me my coffee, iPad, iPhone, and a few snacks. He knows I am going to be in this spot for several hours on the heating pad.
This year I have decided to tackle this pain head on. With the help of my husband of 25 1/2 years, we are going to be seeing if we can finally cure this pain without the help of a surgeon. Surgeons have their place. I know they do, but there are too many things that can go wrong. And each specialist I talk to tells me that the earlier I go on that table, the sooner I will be back. No offense to the surgeon, but I don’t want to see him/her more than once. More importantly, before a surgeon will touch me, I need to lose my weight. So, either way, we got some work to do.
Here are the goals.
- Lose weight to qualify for surgery. I don’t want the surgery, but if I don’t qualify for it, I can’t get help anyway. BUT….There is a big but there. I wish I could change the font and size without it changing my whole alignment of this bullet listing. But, this is my OCD showing through.
- As I lose weight, strengthen my core. I am going to try and lose weight SLOWLY. I don’t want to lose it overnight. I know, that sounds counterintuitive. But, the SLOWER I lose my weight and the longer I build my core the more muscles I will have to support my spinal cord and column. This will allow me to have the support I need. The working theory is that I lost weight too fast the last time and exposed the injury I had. So, if I am losing only 1-2 lbs a month, I am ok with that as long as I am working on building core muscles around my spine. The slower I lose, the stronger I will be.
- Exercise. It is not just about this food. I have to move. The more I move, the less the pain. (Sounds counterproductive.) But, yes, that is the way it works. But I have to remember that I have to do this slowly. I have an injury and I have to work through it. Technically I have a disability right now. I have to work through it. I am not going to be superwoman tomorrow. But I will get there. Just may not be as fast as I want it to be. And that is okay.
I am taking my life back. One day at a time. One move at a time. It will be a slow and tedious task. But I can do it with the help of my husband and friends like you. I got this. I am a champion and I will conquer this pain.