Yesterday I was at the hospital for my medication management appointment. During my appointment, I received some news that upset me a little bit. I left the appointment quite upset and I knew that I had a three-hour drive home. If I did not change my mindset, I knew my suicidal thoughts would come back and haunt me all the way home. So, mindset change commence.
The thing I decided to focus on was the positive things I have learned and utilized since starting therapy to help change my mindset. To help focus on things that make me feel better instead of walking down that path of horror.
One of the things I focused on was writing. The more that I write out my feelings the more I let things go. It has become a great release for me. I never thought about it before but writing is a wonderful outlet for me. Sometimes you just need a way to express yourself and let go of things. We take anger, pain, hurt, and depression and bottle it up sometimes, and that only lets it fester and makes it worse. The more you find a way to express it, the more your pain will be released.
“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.”
— Anne Frank
Another outlet I have found is painting. I love to paint Bible verses. I have also gotten into painting scenery. I do not claim to be good at any painting. All I do is claim to enjoy what I do. The benefit I have found is that I can spend time calming down. I can take the time I need to myself and enjoy the quiet solitude to myself. I often put on music that is peaceful to me and just relax every bone in my body. I feel that as I relax, I can feel more free spirit. Still does not make the painting any better. LOL
I have also looked into meditation apps. I have found two that I really love. If you are a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ or want to know more about Christ, I highly recommend looking into the Abide Meditation App. I use this app almost daily. I sometimes forget. This app uses the Word of God to focus on things we all deal with: Anxiety, Sleep, Depression, PTSD. So, as I study God’s word, this app brings me a lot of calmness. Another meditation app that I use is Balance. If you have never used an app for meditation this is another great one to start with because it teaches you how to meditate and gives you the first year free.
My favorite two things that help me with my mental health disorders are my PSD-in-training and my reborn dolls. Alli has come into our home as my psychiatric service dog. She is doing some amazing work with me – sometimes. She has a long way to go to be the perfect service dog. We are trying to find the right trainer for her. But for now, she brings me a lot of joy and happiness. She goes a lot of places with me and she is beginning to sense when I am in a panic attack or in a major depressive episode. When I am in a panic attack, she has learned to bring me my purse. In my purse I carry salt packets thanks to my counselor. She taught me this wonderful trick. If you down a salt packet and follow it with water, the panic attack settles down. (Believe it or not, IT WORKS.) Don’t leave home without them. She has learned to come cuddle me on the couch. She loves to come put her head on my lap when I am in a panic attack or a depressive episode. She will often look up at me, kiss me, and then just let me repetitively pet her until I calm down. One day she sat there for 4 hours until my husband got home. She knew she could move at that point. She is still very early in her training. She still wants to pull on her leash. This morning, she pounced on the bed and caused a problem with my back injury. So, there are still doubts as to whether she will be able to continue as my service dog or I will have to get another. But, I love her chocolate lab mix self.
As I said the other unusual is my reborn dolls. My previous counselor suggested them at a time I was struggling with my miscarriage. They have been a blessing to me in hard times. Each time I have gotten one has been at a difficult time. This last one though has meant more to me than any of them. I think because of the time I got her and because of what she means to me. I am going to blog more about her in another post because she has given me the courage to start something. She has given me the power to I can do something for myself. So, I am going to. But it is not the time to post it on here. Maybe in two weeks. Hopefully, that keeps you coming back to read more. 🙂 But, for now, I will blog this. Welcome to the world baby girl. Welcome to the world Sadie Rose!